Author Topic: Cool jokes  (Read 8173 times)

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Re: Cool jokes
« Reply #20 on: June 14, 2015, 10:49:54 AM »
 :innocent:

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Confused, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You liar! You've been playing golf!"  =:))

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Re: Cool jokes
« Reply #21 on: June 15, 2015, 05:25:10 AM »
 :mmmm

well, not bad  :P

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Re: Cool jokes
« Reply #22 on: June 25, 2015, 07:38:59 PM »
Three old maids die and arrive in heaven at the same time.
When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven:
don't step on the ducks!"

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their
best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a
duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"

The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck and along comes
St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly
man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first
woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all
eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, then one day St.
Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on
... very tall, dark hair, and muscular.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word and walks away.

The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you
for all of eternity?"

The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"

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Re: Cool jokes
« Reply #23 on: June 25, 2015, 09:26:48 PM »
I wonder what was the intention of who created this joke.  :mmmm

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Re: Cool jokes
« Reply #24 on: July 18, 2015, 01:44:28 PM »
Happy Eid al-Fitr to all my muslim friends from around the world :-h
Don't forget to give some "sedekah" to poor & needy in this holy month of syawwal

Here's a joke for you guys

A story of an Imam who got up after Friday prayers and announced to the people:
"I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."


Happy holiday, may ALLAH bless you guys, Ameen... :praying:




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Re: Cool jokes
« Reply #25 on: September 03, 2015, 08:30:36 AM »
Woohoohoohoooooooooooo.....  =:))

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!" The doctor says, "I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong! The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages." "Nah," she says, "that's okay. We're never going back to that restaurant anyway."  =:))  swim: 

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Re: Cool jokes
« Reply #26 on: October 03, 2015, 09:35:40 AM »

I saw a young teenage kid on the subway today. He had a Mohawk hairstyle dyed yellow, green, and red. He caught me staring at him and in a nasty voice asked, "What the f*ck are you looking at?" I replied, "Sorry, but when I was about your age I had sex with a parrot. I thought maybe you were my son."  =:))

Happy weekend guys ;)


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Re: Cool jokes
« Reply #27 on: October 04, 2015, 06:51:35 AM »
 ::lol

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Re: Cool jokes
« Reply #28 on: January 21, 2016, 10:38:59 AM »
2 jokes for u guys n gals out there...........

1st
Three guys survive a plane crash in the desert. They wander for days, starving and thirsty. They finally come across a lone house and knock on the door, desperate for help. A crusty old lady answers, and says she'd be happy to help if one of them will agree to satisfy her sexually first. After a quick discussion, one of the guys decides to take one for the team. He walks in to her bedroom while the other two wait outside the house. He tells her to close her eyes and open her legs. He quickly runs to the kitchen and grabs the first p@nis-shaped thing he can find, an ear of corn. He shoves it in her, and throws it out the window. Grabs another, rams it in and throws it out the window. She is finally satisfied and agrees to cook for them. He goes outside to get his friends, and they exclaim, "We're actually not hungry anymore. We just ate some delicious, buttery corn on the cob!"  =:))

2nd
Two homeless men are devising a plan to get free drinks at a bar. The first one has an idea: "We'll buy a hot dog and stick it down your pants, walk into the bar, get our drinks, drink, and when the bartender asks for his money, you pull down your pants and I suck on the hot dog that you put down there. He'll kick us out, and we wont have to pay. It's brilliant!" The second man agrees and they do this in the first bar where it works just as planned. Then they hit up 4 more bars and the first man says, "This is great, getting all these free drinks!" The other man replies, "Yeah, especially because the hot dog fell out at the first bar."  =:))

Hv a nice day.....  ;)


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Re: Cool jokes
« Reply #29 on: February 27, 2016, 07:43:15 AM »
Girlfriend: "Am I pretty or ugly?"
Boyfriend: "You're both."
Girlfriend: "What do you mean?"
Boyfriend: "You're pretty ugly."  =:))


Happy weekend guys....................

 

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