Author Topic: Cool jokes  (Read 8174 times)

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Re: Cool jokes
« Reply #10 on: March 26, 2015, 10:56:24 PM »
 =:))

nice one...

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Re: Cool jokes
« Reply #11 on: April 02, 2015, 05:36:42 PM »
After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter.

Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand.

"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied.

He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man.

Naturally, the guy began to worry.

"Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.

"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend then?" he asked.

"No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.

"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.

Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation. Fyi, after the operation I've changed my name from Johnny to Jenny."  =:))

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Re: Cool jokes
« Reply #12 on: April 02, 2015, 05:41:13 PM »
April Fooooooooooooool..............................

A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?"
Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning."
So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed.
The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again."
So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see."
To which the mother replied, "april fool!

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Re: Cool jokes
« Reply #13 on: April 02, 2015, 11:21:22 PM »
uuumm


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Re: Cool jokes
« Reply #14 on: April 27, 2015, 01:01:39 PM »
Warning! Warning! DON'T LIE TO LITTLE GIRL, It's dangerous..... :innocent:

There was a guy sunbathing in the nude on a beach. He saw a little girl coming toward him, so he covered himself with the newspaper he was reading. The girl came up toward him and asked, "What's that under your newspaper?" Thinking quickly, the guy replied. "A bird." The girl walked away, and the guy fell asleep. When he awoke, he was in tremendous pain. The police asked him what happened. The guy says, "I dont know. I was lying on the beach, and this little girl asked me a question, I guess I dosed off and the next thing I know im here" The police went to the beach found the little girl and asked her "What did you do after that?" After a pause the little girl replied, "To him? Nothing. I was playing with his bird and it spit on me. So, I broke its neck, cracked its eggs, and set its nest on fire!" =:))




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Re: Cool jokes
« Reply #15 on: May 09, 2015, 06:34:27 AM »
Jenny, a little old lady living in Capetown, answered a knock on the door one Friday, to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.

'Good morning, Ma'am,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.'

'Go away!' said Jenny brusquely. 'I'm broke and haven't got any money,' and she proceeded to close the door.

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. 'Don't be too hasty,' he commanded. 'Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.' And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.

'Now, if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.'

Jenny stepped back and said with a smile, 'Well let me get you a spoon, young man because they cut off my electricity this morning.'  =:))
« Last Edit: May 09, 2015, 06:38:53 AM by AhmadF »

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Re: Cool jokes
« Reply #16 on: May 09, 2015, 06:54:45 AM »
Ok, one more joke for today.....  & hope you guys hv a nice & relaxing weekend ;)

One day, Johnny, the bus driver, was in his bus when the biggest man he had ever seen got on. The giant looked at the driver and growled, 'Big Eric doesn't pay' , and took his seat.
Johnny was only a little man and he didn't really want to argue.

This happened for several days. After a week, Johnny was beginning to get a little angry. Everybody else paid, so why not the big man?

So Johnny went to the gym and started a course of body-building. He didn't want to be frightened of Big Eric any longer.

Eight weeks later the driver had strong muscles and was feeling very fit.

At the usual stop, Big Eric got on. 'Big Eric doesn't pay' , he barked; but this time Johnny was prepared for him. He stood up, shaking slightly, and said between clenched teeth, 'Oh, yeah? And why doesn't Big Eric pay?'

'Because Big Eric has got a bus pass card', the man replied. =:))


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Re: Cool jokes
« Reply #17 on: May 10, 2015, 02:23:45 AM »
Relaxing.   =D>

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Re: Cool jokes
« Reply #18 on: May 14, 2015, 08:10:38 AM »
Joke of the Day :innocent:

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"

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Re: Cool jokes
« Reply #19 on: May 19, 2015, 12:24:54 PM »
Ok, a joke for today.....  :innocent:

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."  =:))

 

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